...so, I couldn't resist the photo. =) It was just too funny to me. And so very true. Everytime I see a negative, it just gets all over me, and makes me want to cuss or shout or throw something!
I had to do a pregnancy test this morning so that I could say I tested before the appointment, since I haven't had a period since November.
Well, even with me knowing that I'm not pregnant, there's something about sticking that stupid stick in a cup that gets your hopes up. No matter how impossible it seems.
Anyway, la-dee-da.
So, I went in, and I told my doctor that I stopped taking my Metformin due to it making me really sick. What's weird is, she didn't seem too concerned. But she also stated that at this point in the game, it would be better for me to go to Fertility Associates of Memphis because, since we've technically been trying for a year, I am officially qualified to be infertile. (Even though we knew this way before, the textbook definition of infertile is trying for one year with no luck).
*steps back to make her infertile award speech"
Well, I never thought I'd be here today. I have so many people to thank for this accomplishment. PCOS, thank you for helping me achieve this! Without you giving me irregular periods, weight gain, and no ovulation, as well as various hormonal ups and downs, I never would have made it here! Thank you...and goodnight!
Jeesh.
I have an appointment for February 17. I don't know how much will be covered by my insurance, and that scares me.
Which brings me to another topic.
I didn't think about it, but it's very important for Wesley and I to make sure we have insurance. We will need it for when we DO become pregnant. Wesley's insurance is amazing when it comes to having children. That's why we probably won't be going on the trip unless Wesley is approved to stay on as an employee at UPS while we are gone. I hate having to worry about all of these grown-up things. I miss being able to just decide to do something, and then DO it.
And the rabbit trail of topics wanders on...
//I Can't WEIGHT anymore...
[Yes, I am that cheesy]
Basically, after reading up on the Fertility Associates of Memphis' imformative pamphlet on PCOS and how they treat it, they are going to ask something of me. It's called losing weight. You know. I started out trying to do that back in July. And I managed to lose 12 pounds, which I've maintained. But...I still have quite a bit to go before they believe I might begin ovulating on my own again and therefore conceive.
That's the darndest thing with PCOS: it makes it harder to lose weight, but in order for the PCOS symptoms to subside, a significant amount of weight needs to be lost. Oh, and also, PCOS causes you to GAIN weight. It's just cruel and ironic. And so very wrong.
So, I am on a quest to lose 25 pounds in 4 months.
This equals 5 pounds a month.
I think this is fairly realistic.
I am going to start being really disciplined. I have to, for the sake of my health and for the sake of fertility, whenever that may come.
I just ordered a book on PCOS that helps figure up what a PCOS diet should look like. Since women with PCOS are 4 times more likely to suffer from heart disease, diabetes, and other illnesses, it's important that I start getting into healthy habits now.
What is wonderful is that my amazing husband has agreed to do this with me. He is going to lose about 20 pounds. (he may not get there, but the important thing is he is going to try! I'm just saying this because although a weight chart for men says he needs to lose 20 pounds, I don't really think he does).
It is hard to put this all out there, because then if I fail, it will simply be "oh, Ashley jumped on another one of those short-lived bandwagons again." I don't want that. This is too important to me. That is why I am putting this out there for you all to see. To help me. To motivate me. To encourage me. PLEASE, PLEASE do so. I need it so very much. I have never been successful with regular diet and exercise. I have been stubborn and upset at others who don't have to do anything and maintain their weight.
But I have to realize and accept that I'm not like them, and there's no use sulking and stuffing my face when I could be active and eating the right things.
So how am I going to lose this weight?
1) I am going to try to exercise in some way every day. I may not always make it to the gym, but if I'm not at the gym, I will be doing something active elsewhere. The point is to never go a day without exercising.
2) I am going to utilize the meal plans in that PCOS book. I'm just hoping they're not too complex or unrealistic.
3) I am going to consume little to no soda or fried foods. Gosh, this just keeps getting harder, doesn't it?
4) I am going to replace the sodas with water.
That is all that I have so far for my action steps (sounding like a real social worker now, haha), but if there are any more I will certainly let ya'll know.
Keep me accountable. Please. I'm begging you.
My life really does depend on it.
