Benjamin and Odessa

Why didn't God let her choose what color she was?

One day, when she was quite younger, she had made a mess of things by using flour in the kitchen as a means of changing her color.

When she looked in the mirror afterward, she looked grey instead of white. Her brother had teased her, calling her the chicken right before it was fried.

Momma took her inside their one-room shack and used spit and the back of her apron to remove the flour.

"What made you do such a thing, child? Who ever gave you the idea to be ashamed of your color?"

"They do, momma," Odessa replied, they of course meaning the master.

"Now, how many times do I have to tell you, missy? Never let anyone make you ashamed of who you are! Theys just don't understand!"

She pondered this for a second, sticking the the tip of her tongue in the corner of her mouth and watching the dragonflies hum around the shack.

"Momma, do you think Benjamin would pay attention to me, if'n I was white?" Benjamin was the master's son. Odessa watched him often, trying to figure out the thoughts in his head, and if thoughts were colors as well. Did she think black thoughts, and he think white thoughts? She also thought he was mighty handsom. She noticed that he had blue eyes, the color of robin's eggs. NO other boy her age had eyes as beautiful as his. Certainly better than her own dirt-brown bug eyes.

"Now listen here, Odessa. Don't go getting your heart broken by someone you shouldn't even give any time to. You know our kind and their kind don't mix well. If'n you was to be with him..."

"Momma!" Odessa interrupted. "I haven't thought things like that!"

"Well, maybe not, but I want you to listen good. If'n you did love him, your heart would not survive. White and black blood don't mix well."

"Momma, do you know that for sure? Is that really true? I mean, has a slave girl ever actually been with a white man?"

"Probably not Odessa. No black woman is that foolish. Besides, I think God would strike her dead just to punish her for being so foolish!"

"Well momma, what if a black woman and a white man got married before they loved on eachother. Wouldn't God think that was ok?"

"Honey, the day you find a white man that will marry you, I believe the good Lord himself will come to take us home to Glory!"

Odessa pondered this.

******

One day thereafter, she found Benjamin stuck in a tree.

Odessa came upon him on her way to pick blackberries. His face appeared tear-stained, though he'd never admit to it. Odessa was beside herself. She almost called out "Boy, what are you doin up there?" but remembered what momma had taught her about manners and called out instead "Sir, can I help you?" Well, that Benjamin gave one hateful look at Odessa and shouted back

"I ain't no sir, just like you ain't a lady. Leave me alone!"
Odessa squinted her eyes at Benjamin, and without thinking, shouted back

"Well, at least I aint cryin' like a newborn kitten, all stuck in a tree and everythin'!"
Benjamin pouted his lip and protested

"I'm not stuck! I happen to like climbin' trees!" Benjamin then mumbled "It's not the climbin' part I'm worried about; it's the getting down part that's tricky!"

"So, is you stuck or aint ya?" Odessa asked, arms crossed.

"Ah, go on, will ya! Don't you have some chickens to pluck or somethin'?" Benjamin yelled.

"Nah sir, the only chicken I see is you!" Odessa giggled.

"You're mighty saucy for a slave girl, ain't ya? What if my pa knew you was talkin' to me in such a way?"

Odessa blushed, realizing her mouth had run away from her again. Benjamin's face brighted as he noticed her rosy hue. "Well, I'll be! I didn't know a negro girl could blush!"
Odessa's nise crinkled, stating honestly "I didn't know a white boy could cry."

"Well, you got any ideas for me gettin' out of this here tree?"

Odessa smiled. "Sir..." Benjamin stopped her. "For the last time, stop calling me sir! My Daddy is a sir, and one day I'll be a sir...but not yet!"

"Ok, s...uh, Benjamin. If'n you look to your right, you'll see a flimsy branch that looks like it wouldn't hold a squirrel. Grab onto that."

"You're tryin' to trick me, ain't ya? Boy, if I get hurt, I'm tellin' my pa is was your fault!"

"Ah, quit your bellyachin', I've climbed this tree plenty of times. That branch is sturdy. It'll hold you. I've swung from it plenty of times. Now, once you're hanging from that branch, you just swing your way over to that knot to your left, and then you'll be close enough to the ground to jump."

"Ok..." Benjamin replied nervously. He made each move fairly easy, and within a minute, was on the ground in front of Odessa. Odessa, feeling timid now that this boy was so close, started to turn and walk away.

"Hey, hold on there!"
Odessa turned around. Benjamin was reaching out his hand for Odessa to shake. She cowered, never being offered a handshake before. In face, the last time she had seen one of these handshakes was right after she and her family were sold to the master. The master had shaken the man's hand who brought them to the plantation. To Odessa, handshakes were bad omens, and they meant evil things. After several seconds, Benjamin pulled his hand back and looked at her.

"Well, are you gonna tell me your name, or ain't ya?" Odessa, confused, stated her name. Benjamin's forehead crinkled like a washboard and stated "what kind of a name is that? I ain't never heard that before!" Odessa, suddenly embarassed of her name for the first time in her life, stated "It was my grandmama's name." Benjamin shrugged. "I'm named after someone in the Bible. Not sure where I am in the Bible, but I'm there somewhere." Odessa smiled slightly.
"Well, thanks Ode..."
"Odessa" she corrected.
"Odessa" Benjamin stammered.

Benjamin reached out and patted Odessa's shoulder. Odessa winced, much to Benjamin's surprise. "Well, I didn't pat ya that hard. Are ya weak or somethin'?"
Odessa shook her head no, pulling her shirt down slightly to show Benjamin the healing wounds on her shoulder. She wasn't sure what possessed her to do so. Benjamin's face twisted into shock and disgust.
"Gee, how'd you do that?"
Odessa looked away, unable to speak. Benjamin's face softened for a second once he realized why the wounds were there. It quickly hardened, and he said forcefully "Well, you must have done somethin' really awful. Papa only has your people whipped if they're real bad. So, wha didja do? Huh?" Benjamin demanded. Odessa realized how much Benjamin looked like the master when he frowned, and a chill went down her damp back. Odessa agreed that she had been bad. She was ashamed. She didn't want to say.
"Oh, come on. You wanna hear what the last thing was that I got whipped for?"
Odessa didn't respond, but Benjamin continued. "Well, we was down at the general store, and I asked Pa if I could have a root beer barrel. Well, Pa said no, so you know what I did? I stole it. Yep, I took a couple and put them in my pocket. I thought I'd gotten away with it too, but then later on I wanted one, so I went and hild behind the hay. I popped it in my mouth. Boy, it was real good. But then, Daddy found me with it, and he whipped me until it fell out my mouth!"
Odessa sighed with fear. Benjamin had done nothing like what Odessa had done.
"So, that's pretty bad, right? So, c'mon, tell me." Odessa swallowed the dryness in her throat.

"Well, one day I heard your momma singin' a song on the back porch. It was the prettiest song I ever heard. It was about Jesus. Well, I listened for a long while, until I was sure I had learned the whole song." Odessa lowered her voice to a whisper. "Well, on my way to supper that night, I started humming the song to myself, and pretty soon, I was singing it. I got to singin real well, well, at least I think I was. Your daddy came upon me, and he told me that negro girls don't sing songs like that. That's when he took me to the whipping post. He told me I deserved 20 lashings for singing that song..." Odessa's voice broke. She cowered beneath Benjamin's gaze. Now she knew she really had done something terribly wrong, because his mouth was hanging open, and his robin egg eyes were bugging out like hers.

"I didn't mean to!" she protested. "I didn't know that black and white people have different songs, really I didn't!"
Benjamin's gaze stayed firm as he asked her what song it was. She refused to say. She was too scared to let it escape from her lips, fearing this was a trap set in place by the master. Benjamin began singing a few songs, and after each one, he asked if it was the song. None of them were, until suddenly, Benjamin began singing it. Her whole body tingled at the sound of it. His voice was even more beautiful than his mother's. It carried through the Sunday air like a lullaby. Bejamin motioned for Odessa to join him, but she was terrified. What if the master heard?
As if reading her mind, Benjamin stated "My father won't hear, and if he does, I'll tell him it was my idea. Come on Odessa. Sing!"
Odessa's voice quivered out the lyrics, and pretty soon her apprehension surpassed. Their voices began blending, like nothing Odessa had ever heard before. Benjamin watched Odessa carefully as she closed her eyes and belted out the words. He had never heard a voice like hers, nor had he ever heard two voices sound better together.

"Odessa, promise me somethin" Bejamin said when they were finished.
Odessa, not knowing much of what a promise meant, agreed.
"Don't ever sing that song without me."
Odessa grinned, feeling the sunlight warming her cheeks.

And she never did.