"People are always saying you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster. Like you know what it is, even."

So, I am convinced that the Jackson Clinic got almost all of my blood today. Almost.

I drew a total of 15 vials of blood. [For a 2 hour blood glucose test, and other various blood tests. 12 were pre blood sugar spike, and then 1 vial every 30 minutes for 1.5 hours to take before and after levels.]
That's the most blood that has been drawn from my body in my entire 23[almost]24 year existence on this lovely earth.

And I did all of this powered by only a disgusting orange, very sugary drink to spike my blood sugar up and see how my levels were when said blood sugar was spiked up.

I'm not even sure if I understand this concept.
The little nurse was adorable, though. I told her I had started feeling light-headed and weak, and she took me to the back and made me lay down on a table with a blanket over me. So sweet. I could have slept right there, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to go to sleep, haha.

Good news is, I'm feeling better now. I'm happy with my body's ability to bounce back like it has.

I am praying for healing. I pray that my results come back so good, that they just simply can't believe it. It will just have to be a miracle.

I believe in miracles.
I believe in miracles much more than I believe in fairies.

Could you imagine if life was like one of J.M. Barrie's whimsical stories? If we clapped hard enough, we could be healed. Maybe I'll start calling my prayers prayer-claps. *smile*

By the way, a certain symptom of my PCOS was healed for this month. Praise God. He is so very good to us all!

***

I have a confession, friends.
I'm not sure if I'll have much patience for the American life once I come back from this trip.

I don't really have patience for it now. And it is my fault, I realize. I don't want to become this jaded, cynical person when I get back. I want to take my knowledge and experiences to draw others to curiosity of what things are like on the other side of the world. I don't want my experiences to separate me from others, but to draw me closer to them through my excitement and stories and compassion. But I am so afraid I might put up a wall. I mean, how do you respond to the U.S. when you come back from seeing children without homes? How do you swallow the bitter pill of seeing many people with things they don't even need, while there are so many on the other side of the world who are fighting to stay alive EVERY DAY? Americans are weighed down by THINGS. And those THINGS don't even matter in the end. Why oh why do we continue to succumb to the comfort of this earth??? We could be doing so much more if we were not conforming to the ways of this world!!! I am guilty of this myself, which is why I am so disgusted. I hate this sin nature. I hate how we try to make ourselves comfortable when others don't have that choice. It makes me angry. It's natural to want comfort, but it is not RIGHT.

***

Have I told you that I have sleeping problems? I do. Ever since I started at DCS, for some reason, I find it more difficult to get restful sleep. It's probably due to the fact that my mind is racing daily, and it's hard to calm it down when it needs to be still. I wonder how I'm going to sleep on the road. The things I will see will be so much more life-changing than anything I've experienced here. How will I handle it? How will it change me? How will it grow me?

I can't wait for that growth! I'm like a tiny, new flower, stretching its petals toward the Son, asking Him to bathe me in the light of His presence. I feel like my growth was stifled a lot these past few years. Somehow, I lost the zeal I had when I became a Christian at 15. But now, the closer we get to this trip, the more and more I feel the freshly-saved, childlike spirit bouncing around inside of me again. There is nothing like knowing you are heading for something that God has specifically designed for you. Not only to help others, but to continue to etch out your path in front of you; another chapter, another season in His plan.